Comments on: What’s so hard about being an adult with Autism?

By: Pamela Reynoso

Pamela Reynoso

Hi Jessica,
I quite agree with you about society and expectations for those with high-functioning autism. It’s a huge mess. Last I heard, only 30% of people with autism are employed. That’s a staggering number. Our son is still struggling with that component. I have long voiced my irritation that the formula for job seeking is not a formula that those affected with autism can easily follow, much less succeed. The skills needed for the interview process are entirely different from the skills many jobs require, and are the soft skills with which those with autism struggle. The doctor who diagnosed our son told us that the quality of life for high-functioning autistics is lower than for those with more severe autism. I think it’s quite possibly true. Like you, we have not found Vocational Rehabilitation helpful because of how they offer their services here and the constant changes in counselors. My son got his degree, but only because I continued to help him with the tasks that overwhelmed him. Not everyone has that.

I’m sorry you lost access to all the paperwork that would have helped you access helpful services. I hope you can find a place where you thrive!

By: Jessica Smith

Jessica Smith

I’m glad your son is doing better. I have high functioning Autism and struggled a lot in my late teens and all throughout my 20s. I was trying to get into a transitional housing program here in MD for people with disabilities by the time I was almost 29, but lost all of my paperwork that proved I was diagnosed with Autism before the age of 21. I had to qualify for DDA funding first. I could’ve gotten a copy of my IEP records from a school district in NC, where I attended for a year, because the special ed department keeps a student’s records until after they turn 27. Unfortunately, I waited until two years later to contact them. It doesn’t help much that the school district I graduated from here in MD gets rid of your IEP records once you graduate.

After I finished high school, I continued to recieve services from a vocational rehab program known as DORS here in MD which provided me poor services in terms of helping me secure permanent employment. I finally ended my services with them in 2016 after my last counselor quit and the new counselor they assigned didn’t really care if I got a job or not. I too feel society expects more from us because we’re high functioning Autistics. I definitely felt this way in regards to my own life. I feel as though American society in general has unrealistic expectations for high functioning Autistics. We’re expected to get our drivers license, attend and graduate college and get a good job just like everyone else. And don’t get me started on the expectations it comes in regards to dating and relationships. At this point, I’m giving up on American society. It’s a hypocritical society that preaches acceptance and tolerance yet looks down on certain types of people.I’m in the process of planning on getting my passport and settling down. In the meantime, I can look into doing some housekeeper work or something along the lines of service jobs. Something I know I can do. I hope to eventually move abroad too. I’m looking to date and marry someone who didn’t grow up in the US. Sorry I wrote so much.

By: Pamela Reynoso

Pamela Reynoso

In reply to Tana Colburn. Thank you for your comment, Tana. I'm glad your son is doing well! It's such a challenge trying to help guide children with complex issues through this complex world.

By: Tana Colburn

Tana Colburn

Thank you for the essay and the updates. We have similar issues with our son. Both of our children have been diagnosed with ADHD: our son at age 7 and our daughter as an adult. Our son was also diagnosed with ODD, and his social shyness/awkwardness indicates a level of autism.
He doesn’t like new/unknown situations, but has gotten gradually better as an adult. He decided to attend the Bible college where I teach, not because he wanted to study the Bible, but because he was familiar with the people. He applied for his current job because he owner of the company is the son of our pastor at that time.
It took him 10 years to get his AA–for the same reasons you described with your son. His sister got her driver’s license as soon as she could at 16. Our son waited for several years. He doesn’t really like driving, so it is quite ironic that he is driving for Amazon.
Congratulations to your son for completing his degree. Both our sons are fortunate to have caring and involved parents to help them navigate an increasingly complex culture. Would that all children have the same level of care, love, and involvement from their parents.

By: Rondall Reynoso

Rondall Reynoso

In reply to Daniel. Thank you for your feedback, Daniel. That is a very real point. If you would be interested in writing a piece from the perspective of a person with autism, I think that would be a valuable contribution and we would be happy to consider publishing it.

By: Daniel

Daniel

No offense, but one thing makes it really hard being autistic as an adult is that the conversation around is always about the people around us, not we ourselves. Even fully grown, people will ignore what i have to say about having autism to hear what you have to say as a family member of someone like me.

Not only are autistic adults ignored to talk about autistic children, but we constantly get treated like children.